Its the little things that are big things......

I'm in a new season in my faith. One I have longed for but not really been able to officially sign on to for a very very long time. The word of God is becoming clearer and clearer. Remember those days when you just "got stuff" its as everything "jumps of the page"? Well, its one of those times and I am reveling in it.

Let me start by saying. I have always loved Jesus. I have known him since I was 8 years old. However, it was not until this year my 31 rst year that I felt as though I REALLY am just beginning to know Him. I actually grieve at that last statement. We get to choose an abundant relationship with Jesus. I have not always chosen. I have often just lived. So much time wasted I grieve that, all the time I wasted on superficial things or relationships that were hurtful and mired over them and cried over them and tried to fix them never once turning to the one whose mercies are new every morning.

A sinner, saved by faith. This is what I am .

I am a good woman. A woman most people like. I am a lover of all people. In fact my biggest passion and pit is people. I love them but in the same breath they have caused me much pain. But, it does not matter I keep on loving. I don't think God calls everyone to have a passion for His most prized creation. But, He has called me and I love it. I'm not a perfect friend or person, I am chalk full of sinfulness and have my own issues, that I so want to be delivered from and beg God to do so. In the words of the precious Bible teacher and one of my heroes Beth Moore: I want to be delivered from "the pit" and I NEVER want to go back.

Part of this loving people gig in the real day in day out of dealing with your own flesh and the flesh of others. I have always said that I have a very high tolerance for flesh. However, after quoting that to my husband the other day it dawned on me? Do I have a high tolerance for my own flesh too? The answer is yes. I asked the Lord to reveal to me an area of my flesh that needed to be gone. Well, as always he showed up and did. First it was through the rehashing of a conversation I had with someone. I realized that over the past two years I have fallen prey to the evil of useless chatter. I am a communicator and its easy, VERY easy to think you are just talking. Well, I am sorta sick of just talking. I am ready to talk with purpose and passion. For my readers who are personal friends. I am not going to get all weird and super spiritual on you I just want to say up front I am disgusted with what we let ourselves get away with. Its like every page I turn in Bible there is a passage about mindless, useless chatter. Like this morning I came across this one:

"But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because they are UNPROFITABLE AND USELESS." Titus 3:9

can you believe God even speaks to how to handle this? I HAVE NEVER seen this verse!

"Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have NOTHING to do with Him. You may be sure that such a man is warped and sinful;he is self-condemned." Titus 310-11

WOA..........that is pretty heavy and pretty straight forward. I don't even own a concordance or a Greek translator and I am almost certain there is no way to may those verses sound more real than they are.

As I have said before the " The Glamazon blog what was supposed to be focused on all things glamorous and girly has all the sudden turned all heavy and serious."

I'm just going with it. There is purpose in it for me and maybe you. The beauty of transparency. Give me a transparent person any day over apathetic, lost, passive people who never want to look inside and go deeper. Its hard to go deep. You never know what you may find and when you find it what will you do with it? What if it embarrasses you? What if it sets you apart "a little too much"? That's me I want Jesus and all He has to offer but not so sure I want to go that far? Even though I do...... What will that cost me?

I want to be a cool girl in the eyes of the world. But, honestly as cool as I want to be, I really want Jesus more.

"Lord help me to believe this and to live it".

Y'all I know this is heavy and I don't expect any comments hence serious transparency and lack of Martha Stewart pictures of domesticated Goddess stuff (which I adore too)

But, I had to get this one out this morning. I could not sleep. I lay in my bed thinking about how much time I waste on my cell phone in the car talking to people or about people about stuff that is useless. I think about if I continue this pattern as my children get older and smarter how they will pick up on the fact that this is ok? Wake up call. I want them to have the upper hand. I want them love people. Love Jesus. I want them to have purpose and passion. I want them to live these passages:

Titus 1:11-12 "for the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age.

I need to pray about this. Indulge me please.......

Jesus, please help me. I want you and I want purity. I love people and I want to be your ears, your hands, your feet. BUT, only in a way that honors you. Forgive me for time wasted and words that were never needed. Help me stand against the pressures of a harsh world of people who are not living purpose and passion. I DON'T want to be one of those people. I want the exciting, adventurous life you promise. Help me Lord to encourage people especially your beloved that call you Savior to choose your ways and your words over our own fleshly ones. Lord thank you so much that your mercies are new and that you see past our sin and directly to our hearts. We love you. We honor you and we say to you, " Great are you! Great and mighty God!"

snips and snails......love it more than ever.........

Little boys are so much more than I ever imagined . To be honest....I only ever saw myself with girl babies....I came from girls, I am a girl....its just seemed natural. Well, I got my girl and she is a delight. However. This guy....there are not words......all I can say is I think I am a boy mom and LONG for a another boy baby. Although I'll take whatever the Lord gives me. This guy is so much fun. I am amazed by his little boys ways......I mean really look below...hauling nanners in your truck!!!! ahhh!!!! love it. Crawling on everything, up everything, falling all the time, throwing anything and everything. Let me be honest...I am sort of one of those "nervous mothers" which is why I find it almost comical that my 3 year old girl child knocked her front tooth out last year doing nothing dangerous. I am always trying to stay a step ahead of them to stop any major crisis. Well, probably need to go ahead and let that one go. Since they are the Lord's anyways. He is protector. But, these boys will almost give you a heart attack....but then......crawl into your arms and snuggle and love you like none other. I really like that part. Here's to boy babies! Here's to praying I can raise him to be an honorable man. That was another reason I thought I never wanted boy children. It seems so huge to raise a son, you are responsible for raising someone who will lead his own family some day. I just trust every single day that with the beauty of an amazing father, my love and support and a whole lot of prayers this little guy will be a man after God's own heart. That is all I really want for him.

my men on the amazon job site!

watching diggers and anything with wheels....totally amazes me.... an economist/money guru's daughter marries the owner of a construction company and has a son that already can identify what a digger, roller, backhoe, dump truck and grader is....woa.....I know what they are too!!! Hey but guess what my construction man he knows what Hermes, Creed Perfume and Beth Moore are!!!!! Love love love it!

february & march fun and fairytales continue.......

Its been a really really fun of February and start of March....going backwards.....

hosted a dinner party for a good friend who turned 40 in my barn last night....good girls, fun times, great food and big laughs.......I am loving being 31....but I think 40 is cool too.

the cake lovers cake

our baby sitter going to Morocco to the peace corp. last day with her~!!! Good luck TB!!!!

just threw this one in of my angel for kicks!!!!!

party time in the barn!!!!!

my valentine's day diva!

omg...eat him up!!!

heart pancakes!!!!!

valentine's surprises!

sweet baby friends playing at a birthday party

big daddy ( Mr. Glamazon) with babies all over him and loving it

first trip to Disney (which by the way I was not excited) I AM IN LOVE with it now!!! so much more fun with kids!

loving her new ballon

honey, we did it all....unicorn face and all......

this picture is hysterical to me.....she was SPEECHLESS....all she said to Belle (her favorite) is: "you and I match we are both princess's, and we both have brown hair and eyes!" she could have cared less for the other princess's

seeing the castle for the first time.....priceless....she cried then screamed!!!

Dinner at Red Fish.....she was such a lady.....

of course its easier to be a lady when you watch movies on Daddy's phone!

love my life and not afraid to say it......anymore

Over the past month I have been remembering this scripture

Psalm 100:5

"FOR THE LORD IS GOOD AND HIS LOVE ENDURES FOREVER; HIS FAITHFULNESS CONTINUES THROUGH ALL GENERATIONS".

Lately I am have been feeling super ashamed of the life that the Lord has blessed me with. I have felt guilty for many of my blessings and tried to down play them so that "people" won't think I think my life is "perfect" or "wonderful". In fact I have quite frankly not been myself since October. Well...thanks to the grace of a heavenly Father who loves me a husband who encourages me and two sweet babies that make me want to be the Sarah God so graciously entrusted their sweet spirits too...I'm free...free indeed. I'm pretty excited about it too.

I am still on a journey with my marriage, motherhood, relationships and most importantly my Savior. I am ready to dig deeper, dream bigger, live large with my God. I have been totally denying this for a long time because I know that when I have chosen this as I have in other seasons of my life that when I am in a good place, a growing place with God, he mercifully shows up and ROCKS MY WORLD.

So let me just get this out, so I can be free, since if you know me you know that is all I ever wanted.

ITS OK TO ACCEPT BLESSINGS FOR A MOST HIGH GOD WHO DESIRES TO GIVE HIS CHILDREN GOOD GIFTS. ITS OK TO EVEN SHARE THEM TO BLESS OTHERS. ITS OK TO GIVE HIM ALL GLORY, HONOR AND PRAISE FOR THOSE GIFTS, SO THAT HIS RENOWNED IS KNOWN ALL OVER THE EARTH.

WHETHER IT BE SMALL WHETHER IT BE LARGE. WHETHER YOU BE POOR OR WHETHER YOU BE RICH. WHETHER YOU BE YOUNG, WHETHER YOU BE OLD.

BE

THE PERSON THAT GOD HAS CREATED YOU TO BE. YOU WERE CREATED IN HIS IMAGE FOR GOODNESS SAKE. THATS A PRETTY BIG DEAL.

I KNOW THIS IS SIMPLE WRITING, BUT HEY ITS CHANGING MY LIFE AND I AM JUST GETTING IT OUT THERE FOR FREEDOMS SAKE. WHEN WRITTEN IT WORD IT BECOMES SO MUCH MORE LIFE TO ME.

Just as a side note...because its inevitable by those people who have accused me of throwing my "perfect life" up in the faces of others. I AM NOT PERFECT. NOTHING ABOUT ME IS. HOWEVER, I DO SERVE A PERFECT SAVIOR. I am forever grateful for a fairy tale life. Its all relative people. I'm thankful for my health TODAY.....that could change tomorrow. I am thankful for a prince charming that loves and adores me. Children who bless me daily by even uttering the words "Mama".

Most of all I am so honored to call Jesus my lover and my friend. My KING and my SAVIOR.

It's because if Him that I was pulled out of darkness and into His light. It's because of Him that I journey on this path to a very exciting, adventurous, risky life. Its because of Him that I have wisdom, stature and favor with God and man.

This blog is so taking a different direction. I always thought I would be of writing about decorating, cooking and babies. I NEVER imagined this to be an outlet to proclaim HIS goodness.

Good gifts my friends, that is what He has for us. Take it, thank Him for it, don't be jealous when he chooses to give something you desire to someone else. Rejoice in His goodness that He knows EVERY SINLGE desire of you heart. He put them there.

I'm speaking from a place of knowing what I desired from a very early age. Knowing that I desired a beautiful God fearing man that would love me, treasure me and adore me. A good man, one that REALLY cares for people and puts others before himself. A man that would lead my family make life fun and exciting. Got it. Thank you Jesus. My husband is a joy, its such and honor to be his wife.

That even though I played with the idea of being 100% female career woman and pretty much made people think that is what I was going to do in my life. I ALWAYS knew that all I ever wanted was to be a Mother. I desire to take it seriously and pour into their lives and lead them to an authentic relationship with Jesus. I desire to make EVERY holiday beautiful and glamorous in my very own way. Got it. Thank you Jesus I am so humbled by your desire to bless with the big things like a gorgeous husband and children down to the little things like heart shaped pancakes on Valentine's morning, birthday parties that make you swoon with creativity and play dates with water guns and gummy worms just to make memories...just cause its fluffy and just cause I can and just because I am wired that way and thats ok.

It's ok to be me. If someone can't handle it. Not my problem. If someone does not "get it"....not my problem again. The ONLY one opinion I even really care to please is my God.

Now to throw some more desires out there:

I would be honored to be a world changer. To make known His name known all over the earth. To tell young women that they are beautiful in his sight. To tell them that NO man will ever really meet their needs the way THE SON of God can.

I desire to hold babies that are nameless and fatherless and pray God's peace and hope for their life.

I desire favor with governments, world and spiritual leaders".

I desire a ministry of excellence that totally rocks people to actually want to to live the Christian life. Not live it with a drag cause you think the world has so much more fun. So not true....quite the opposite in fact. Life with Jesus....Way more fun. Way more cool. Way more fulfilling.

This is a big day for me. I have been running from this declaration for a very very long time. I am scared to death by the ramifications of "putting it out there". But, once again I will not go there. I will say of the Lord HE is HIS is my rock and my refuge. In HIM will I trust.

I am more thankful today than ever. But more than anything.

I am a women set apart free from the opinion of man and on a path to being ALL that she was called to be. Want to come with me?

xoxo

Now for a peek into last months fairy tale..........

sweetest 5th birthday party ever for a sweet girl....wedding themed....little girls were "flower girls" sister were

bridesmaids"....it was pure delish.......

although my little one struggles with it not being her "party" learning now...its not all about us. Am I the only one out there that sees little girls birthday parties as character building? This one was a biggie for us.

celebrating a beautiful 40th birthday party in a gorgeous shoe store for my very gorgeous and glamourous friend who is even more gorgeous on the inside. So thankful for sweet friends.